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You took a page or two in give an brief
explanation to practicing PhDs. Perhaps a more basic approach is
appropriate to a more basic audience.
While I agree you give a wonderfully sophisticated view of treating
relationships as P(x,y), getting an upper-level science student (let
alone a typical high-school student) to appreciate the subtleties
would be a tall order.
This article seems to be aimed at an audience
somewhere in between. In such a case, I think "dependent" and
"independent" are reasonable ways to think of the situation.
Let's
get the students to master the idea of p = f(rho) (and many will have
a hard time makiing the jump from y =f(x) to p=f(rho) ) before
takeing your next step.