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You make good points here.
Insofar as we can neglect Oscillation and rotation of the ball,
There is no reason to choose N different reference frames.
Pick the
center of mass frame for the entire system and stick with it. There is
no problem with focusing your attention on one "blob" of the fluid,
I tell the students that the gravitational potential energy associated
with the configuration of the earth plus ball system is energy of the
system as a whole and is not energy of the ball itself, but for
accounting purposes, I am going to assign that energy to the ball and
call it the gravitational potential energy of the ball because it is
easier to talk about it that way.
then, for case after case I use the
expression "the gravitational potential mgh of the object," every once
in a while earnestly reminding the students that the energy is really
the energy of the earth-plus-object system--not the object.