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(difference 2) the revision removes the word "observe" from two places.
This would appear to be an attempt to remove the idea of observations and
switch the context to what the clocks are actually doing. This doesn't make
any sense to me. Each clock is doing what it's supposed to do. Peter's
clock is keeping accurate time in his frame and Jane's clock is keeping
accurate time in her frame. There isn't any "relativity effect" until we
start making observations and comparing them. To make these observations
and comparisons we have to observe and record the positions and times of
events. In the original question the events are poorly described. In the
revised question the events are even more poorly described. "When Peters
clock has made one revolution." What does that mean?