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Re: Parent-Teacher Conferences...



Dwight,

Two comments:

- get counselling for the student and family of your possible suicide.
Do this for your own peace of mind as kids do kill themselves and you will
wonder if you could have done/said something previous to the event that
could have averted the tragedy. My HS student suicide experiences were
extremely hard on me when I taught HS. It sounds awful, but you have to do
this for yourself as much as the family & student. HS suicide takes a
torturous toll on teachers and other students.

- the second situation can actually be a lot of fun in a twisted way.
At your school there are lots of nosy busybodies masquerading as counsellors,
vice principals etc who usually make your life difficult but whom can be
invoked for the torture of hapless parents and students. Arrange a session
where a group of "education counsellors" who all "care very much" about
the students (the aforementioned people) get together with you and the parent
or you the parent and the student. Get a small room; the more such people
the merrier. Be concerned and flexible, state your case, sit back and watch
the weenie roast by the well-intentioned. I figure the most heinous torture I
ever applied to a HS student was gathering such a group together to discuss
the student's progress, shortcomings, problems and possible solutions.
You'll only have to hide gloating for a few minutes before you'll feel sorry
for the accused yourself.

Imagine if you were invited into a room with your work superiors and admin
all warmly, concernedly and self-importantly discussing your failures in
your job together with admonitions to "work harder," "try this change"
interspersed with lots of "we really care" and the occasional participant
who forgets your name. Now retrogress this experience to a nervous self-
conscious teenager who hides in bed the day of a new pimple, and relies
intimately on one session participant-- even for food and shelter. Sounds
like evilly good fun so far, eh? But wait, there's even more...

Best of all, when this sensitive and caring session is completed, with the
student and parent nicely humiliated -- you are a warm and sensitive caring
teacher who goes the extra mile in the eyes of your school counsellors and
admin. VP material yourself. Now you can happily go home, have a beer and
laugh 'till hysteria backs off. No need to threaten your students after
word gets around; be "concerned" instead of losing your temper and offer
to "arrange a meeting with the counsellor!"

Dan the cynical ex HS teaching M

Dan MacIsaac, Assistant Professor of Physics and Astronomy, Northern AZ Univ
danmac@nau.edu http://www.phy.nau.edu/~danmac/homepage.html

Not to long ago, our high school had parent-teacher conferences. As
usual, most of the conferences went very well, except for a couple. One of
them really made me worry. The parent sat down and start sobbing. In the
mother's own words, she was worried whether or not her daughter was going to
do well in my class. She feared that her daughter would take her life if she
didn't do well in my class. No pressure, huh?
The other parent was upset that her daughter was not doing well in my
class. Previous to the conferences, I have talked to some of the other
teachers about this individual student. I had learned that she was failing
ALL of her other classes, as well as mine. She was not turning in her work,
no projects/reports, and was disruptive in all of her other classes. The
mother even gave me a book on how to be a better teacher! I was offended.
Granted, I do believe we all have areas to improve in and I'm constantly
taking classes, trading ideas with other teachers, and going to workshops. To
have a parent tell me that I'm not doing my job really bothered me. Deep
down, I knew that I'm doing whatever I can do at the present time and hoping
that I can improve upon myself later on. I've even had some of my past
students take the state chemistry and physics exam (I'm not sure what the
exact name is) and had most of my students do very well in it. I even had one
student who was one of my "slower" learners place 8th in the Region. I'm not
sure what to think.
Does anyone have advice, especially for the first problem? Anything
anyone is willing to share?

Dwight
Ashland, OH