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Re: MentorNet (one woman's response)



Women (especially older women) in groups occasionally refer to
themselves as "ladies" or "girls," just as groups of men occasionally refer
to themselves as "boys." If you are not a member of a group, you do not
necessarily have the privilege of using the same term to refer to members of
the group that they use to refer to themselves. It's an insider/outsider
thing.
The problem with the word "ladies" is that it brings to mind images
of 1950's bridge clubs and lace doilies, not hard-dealing business
executives. This is why many female professionals prefer the word "women,"
which has fewer non-professional connotations.
Finding out what to call non-Caucasians and women is easy. Just ask
for the person's preferred name and professional title.
As for "deep respect," my guess is that you may be deeply respecting
the wrong things. You will get better results if you respect the person and
her accomplishments rather than her gender. Don't confine women to a
pedestal. We don't like it. A pedestal is a very small place on which to
live.

Dr. Vickie Frohne

-----Original Message-----
From: Jim Green [mailto:JMGreen@SISNA.COM]
Sent: Thursday, October 10, 2002 1:48 PM
To: PHYS-L@lists.nau.edu
Subject: Re: MentorNet (one woman's response)


Ladies! Ladies! Eee Gads I think our WOMEN physics majors and grad =
students here at Cal State Fullerton would take offense if they were =
referred to as "ladies".

Well, one should excuse the senile for loosing track of PC. I get in
trouble with non-Caucasians too. I just can't keep up with how they wish
to be referred to. On the other hand when the reference is obviously from
a position of respect, why are people so intolerant? After all I am
expected willingly to respect the slurs members of some groups direct at
me --and the language other groups use amongst themselves, It gets
confusing.

Often in groups women refer to themselves as "ladies" -- (and "girls" as
well for that matter). I use the term "ladies" out of deep respect. If
some here don't like it, tough.


Jim Green
mailto:JMGreen@sisna.com
http://users.sisna.com/jmgreen

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This posting is the position of the writer, not that of SUNY-BSC, NAU or the AAPT.