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for fun



This is just for laughs. I think.

TOPEKA, KS-The second law of thermodynamics, a fundamental
scientific principle stating that entropy increases over time as
organized forms decay into greater states of randomness, has come under
fire from conservative Christian groups, who are demanding that the law
be repealed.


<http://graphics.theonion.com/pics_3631/christian_protestors.gif>
Above: Conservative Christians protest the second law of thermodynamics
on the steps of the Kansas Capitol.

"What do these scientists want us teaching our children? That the
universe will continue to expand until it reaches eventual heat death?"
asked Christian Coalition president Ralph Reed, speaking at a rally
protesting a recent Kansas Board Of Education decision upholding the
law. "That's hardly an optimistic view of a world the Lord created for
mankind. The American people are sending a strong message here: We don't
like the implications of this law, and we will not rest until it has
been reversed in the courts."

The controversial law of nature, which asserts that matter
continually breaks down as disorder increases and heat is lost, has long
been decried by Christian fundamentalists as running counter to their
religion's doctrine of Divine grace and eternal salvation.

"Why can't disorder decrease over time instead of everything
decaying?" asked Jim Muldoon of Emporia, KS. "Is that too much to ask?
This is our children's future we're talking about."

"I wouldn't want my child growing up in a world headed for total
heat death and dissolution into a vacuum," said Kansas state senator
Will Blanchard (R-Hutchinson). "No decent parent would want that."

Calling the second law of thermodynamics "a deeply disturbing
scientific principle that threatens our children's understanding of
God's universe as a benevolent and loving place," Blanchard is
spearheading a nationwide grassroots campaign to have the law removed
from high-school physics textbooks. The plan has already met with
significant support in the state legislatures of Kansas, Oklahoma,
Missouri, Tennessee, Georgia, and Mississippi.

<http://graphics.theonion.com/pics_3631/christian_protestors_jump.gif>

Above: Christian Coalition president Ralph Reed holds a textbook he
claims is being used to teach physics in schools.

"My daughter's schoolbooks tell her that we live in a world ruled
by disorder," said Knox Heflin, one of several dozen fundamentalists who
spoke out against the teaching of the law at a Statesboro (GA) School
Board hearing. "That's a direct contradiction of what it says in the
Bible, about how everything is going to get better, and we'll all live
happily up in heaven after the End Times."

"The only 'heat death' Jesus ever mentioned is the one that
sinners will suffer for all eternity in the Lake of Fire," said
Indianola (MS) School Board president Bernice McCallum. "Now more than
ever, we need to hear what the Bible has to say about our public
schools' physical-science curricula."

Leading physicists contend that, as the foundation of much of our
current scientific understanding, a reversal of the second law of
thermodynamics would have massive ramifications on the future of both
our nation and the universe itself.

"Were the second law to be repealed, random particles would
collect and organize themselves instead of dissipating, which could
affect such basic processes as combustion, digestion, evaporation,
convection-that sort of thing," Columbia University superstring theorist
Dr. Brian Greene said. "There wouldn't be much sunlight, either, because
all stars, including our sun, would be collecting photons from
surrounding space instead of emitting solar radiation. Oh, and the
universe would begin to contract rather than expand, which could
possibly turn back the flow of time itself, sending our cosmos spiraling
inward toward a reverse Big Bang, a sort of 'Big Crunch,' if you will."

"In light of all this," Greene continued, "I would sincerely hope
that our nation's legislators think long and hard before making any
decisions to amend or repeal this law."

Despite such warnings, the grassroots movement to eliminate the
second law of thermodynamics appears to be gathering strength.

"This is America," said Duane Collins, a Gatlinburg, TN,
distillery operator and father of five. "And in this country, we have
the God-given right to change laws we don't think are Christian. We are
united in our demands that the second law of thermodynamics be repealed,
and our voice will be heard no matter what. That's just a plain fact,
and nothing anybody says can ever change it."


© Copyright 2002 Onion, Inc., All rights reserved.
http://www.theonion.com/

--------------------------------
Physics isn't something you know,
it is something you know how to do.
...........
kyle forinash kforinas@ius.edu
http://Physics.ius.edu/
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