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[Phys-L] Physics in blank verse from St Nicholas



I offer this homily on Exponential growth for your
amusement, from the pen of Kenneth Rehill.


Deer Deliverance

Many, many children,
behaving very, very well
added up to a great big problem
for Santa and his itty-bitty reindeer
one chilly, chilly year.

The reindeer team and Santa assembled
for their pre-season practice flight
one windy, windy night.
After piles and piles of presents
were packed and stacked up on the sleigh,
the reindeer tried and tried to fly
but they could only move the sleigh
a teeny-weeny bit.
They never got off the ground.

While a worried Santa stood
tugging his beard and thinking, thinking,
the reindeer came tinkle-tinkling up to him.
They had a plan, they told Santa,
their eyes a-twinkle-twinkling.

"If we just barely can't fly,
no matter how hard we try, try, try,
our caribou cousins can.
They're big, big, bigger than us."
They told Santa thousands and thousands
of their great big cousins
were in the Porcupine Caribou herd.

Now, finding the herd
in the wide, wide wilderness
could be a major, major problem.
But the reindeer had an answer.
They told Santa how
the herd could be found.

Santa searched taiga.net
on his workshop computer
And quick, quick, quickly found a map.

A few of the herd's cows
wear radio collars nowadays.
The map showed where they were.
It was many, many miles away,
on the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge.

Early, early in the morning,
Santa started out on snowshoes.
He walked for a long, long time
and finally found the great big
Porcupine Caribou Herd.
The big, big caribou
were very, very happy to help.

Santa rigged up a teeny-weeny sled,
hitched up twelve great big caribou,
enough for a first team
and a relief team, just in case.
They flew up to his workshop.

Well, Christmas worked out
very, very well and Santa ho-ho-hoed.
But soon he started worrying again.
"What if there are more and more children,
Being better and better?
What will we do next year?"

The itty-bitty reindeer smiled
very, very confidently. One,
with a crooked grin, asked Santa
"Santa, while you were hiking
across the tundra, did you see any moose?"
Santa's eyes began twinkle, twinkling.
Moose and very, very, VERY big!

Kenneth Rehill



Brian Whatcott Altus OK Eureka!