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Re: Where Have All the Boys Gone?



At 08:41 7/1/00 -0400, Lisa Gardner wrote:
Dear List Members,
....
I have to ask why are the boy's fathers or mothers not doing what is
necessary to make them to put out the effort to excel or to stop the
behavior so they aren't so unkind to the girls, when we want to learn
as much as we can?

At this point in my life ... the boys wish
they were doing as well as I am....

Lisa Gardner (age 9)

Lisa,
It's noticeable that cultural norms vary between people of different
national origins. It's often remarked that Asian children are expected
to do reasonably well at 'difficult' topics like math and science by
their parents, who suppose that if their children persist with challenging
learning topics, they will improve, no matter what their perceived
interest or talent.
And it seems, they do.

Another topic which may interest you (though I expect you have already
been warned) is the potential for plummeting self esteem as you grow into
your adult form. It appears that girls can become involved in a competitive
culture aimed at being 'attractive' - this could be a serious hurdle for
you to vault.

As I imagine you are probably rather smarter than me, I suppose I should
mention the other rather depressing thing about being a very smart woman;
the chances of a well-qualified woman getting married appear to drop with
each higher step on the academic ladder. Men do not verbalize it necessarily,
but there is sometimes a level of discomfort if one's female partner is
noticeably smarter. It's just possible that's one reason some smart boys
with whom you are in contact, take pains not to overstress their
intellectual capacities - social relations matter.

I would be very pleased if you could discuss technical topics of interest
to you - I suspect I might find them easier to follow than some of the
grown up matters that come to our attention on this list.

Sincerely

Brian


brian whatcott <inet@intellisys.net>
Altus OK