Until last week, Noel Godin was
relatively unknown in the United States.
A 52-year-old Belgian author, film
historian, actor ("The Sexual Life of the
Belgians"), writer ("Cream and
Punishment") and "entarteur" (a Godin
coinage that roughly translates as
"encaker" or "pie-er"), Godin led the
gang that gave to Bill Gates what so
many of us only dream of: a big wet pie
in the face. The attack took place at the
entrance of Le Concert Noble on Arlon
Street in Brussels and was widely
reported in the press.=20
Godin doesn't own a computer and
didn't even know what a URL is. His
girlfriend, however, uses a PC. (This
interview was conducted and translated
by Hugues Henry.)=20
The Netly News: Who are you, Noel
Godin?=20
Noel Godin: I'm part of a gang of bad
hellions that have declared the pie war
on all the unpleasant celebrities in
every kind of domain (slogan: "Let's
pie! Let's pie! Nincompoop guys!").
We began to act against "empty"
celebrities from the artistic world who
were thinking they were the cat's
whiskers. Then we attacked the TV
news business in France, for instance,
Patrick Poivre D'Arvor [a famous
French TV presenter]. Then it became
political with Philippe Douste-Blazy in
Cannes, the French minister of culture,
or the other French minister Nicolas
Sarkozy last year in Brussels.=20
NN When did you first pie someone?=20
Godin: In November 1969, with
French writer Marguerite Duras, who
represented for us the "empty" novel.=20
NN Why did you choose Bill Gates?=20
Godin: Because in a way he is the
master of the world, and then because
he's offering his intelligence, his
sharpened imagination and his power
to the governments and to the world as
it is today -- that is to say gloomy, unjust
and nauseating. He could have been a
utopist, but he prefers being the lackey
of the establishment. His power is
effective and bigger than that of the
leaders of the governments, who are
only many-colored servants. So Bill
Gates was at the top of our lists of
victims. The attack against him is
symbolic, it's against hierarchical power
itself. Our war cry was explicit: "Let's
pie! Let's pie the polluting lolly!"=20
NN So you have a whole list of people
you want to pie?=20
Godin: Yes, we have meetings here in
my house. These are funny meetings;
we have a good time with good drinks
and at the same time we plot. We
always agree on the target choice and
then we have to study how to reach the
target.=20
NN How did you prepare to pie Bill
Gates?=20
Godin: For several years, there's been
a new phenomenon. Traitors appear in
the entourage of our victims who
contact us to give us firsthand
information. Our victims, at first sight,
are very unpleasant and they are far
from being loved in their own circle; this
is our trump. For instance, these last
years, Patrick Poivre D'Arvor,
[producer] Daniel Toscan du Plantier
and [French minister] Nicolas Sarkozy
have been betrayed. In the case of Bill
Gates, a member of the staff of
Microsoft Belgium contacted us and
gave us a mysterious rendezvous.
Thanks to him, the operation was a
success. Of course we won't give his
name. It's a secret; only a few know his
identity. But we want to tell it because
we would be very amused if there was
suspicion in the staff of Microsoft.
"Who's the traitor?!"=20
It happened one week before the
arrival of Bill Gates in Belgium. We
received, little by little, very precise
information about the planning of the
Bill. Some Parisian accomplices
followed him the day before, step by
step, notably when he first met Lionel
Jospin [French prime minister]. For
instance, we learned that he was
always escorted by five armed
bodyguards but no more. In Belgium,
he had four motorcycle policemen and
he had five important rendezvous that
day. So, to succeed, we only had one
solution: our number. We were 30
individuals. That's why we succeeded.
We were extremely determined, we
were in a good mood. We were a funny
commando.=20
We were divided in "gloupinesques"
[from his pseudonym, Le Gloupier]
fighting units of three on Arlon Street,
where people were waiting for him in
Le Concert Noble. There was traffic in
the street so the plotters were
anonymous. When Bill Gates arrived
with screaming sirens, he walked
outside his car and as he was climbing
the steps several of our fighting units
gathered and they created a kind of pie
whirl that fell on him. The bodyguards
were completely distraught. None of
them even took out his gun. They were
as dazed as Bill was.=20
NN Do you know why there's a traitor in
the staff of Microsoft Belgium? What
were his motivations?=20
Godin: This man told us he really
loved Bill Gates in the past, saying that
he was very cool and passionate. But
little by little he considered that his
power had tainted him, and that he was
becoming more and more haughty with
his own collaborators. So the man who
gave us the information considered,
and he's not alone, that it wouldn't be
bad to teach Bill a lesson, to bring him
back to reality. That's how he explained
to us why he was doing it. He's far from
being a member of our band, he's not
an anarchist and he likes his work with
Microsoft, but he thought it had to
happen.=20
NN So you weren't paid by someone
from Netscape or Oracle?=20
Godin: Certainly not; I wasn't even
aware of their existence.=20
NN Weren't you afraid of the armed
bodyguards and the police?=20
Godin: This time, yes, we were afraid.
We didn't sleep very well the night
before. We thought, since the
bodyguards of Bill Gates are
professional, they won't fire. I told my
men, "Be happy and show it is only
cream." To be strong, we drank some
good Trappist beers. So they were
laughing and joking when they went to
the front... Of course I wasn't in the
commando because the authorities, the
press... they know my face. It would
have been a mistake, even with a
disguise. So I was on an adjacent
street.=20
NN How many pies were thrown?=20
Godin: Four touched Bill Gates in the
face. There were 25 pies in all. One of
the secrets of the gloupinesque
operation is that you don't have to throw
the pies. You must put the pies
point-blank in the face of the victim.
One of the members of the victorious
commando is the filmmaker R=E9my
Belvaux ("Man Bites Dog"). He
unfortunately lost his papers and so the
cops revealed his identity.=20
NN What were their feelings just the
second after they touched Bill Gates
with the pie?=20
Godin: The exhilaration of victory.
Exquisite pleasure. The gloupinesque
operations have a 95 percent success
rate. But each time we are stressed,
and each time it's the same pleasure.=20
NN How did Bill Gates react?=20
Godin: He had a kind of promotional
smile that became a kind of smile
made of sand...=20
NN When you touch your victim, don't
you have the feeling of being powerful?
You had pies, but it could have been a
knife.=20
Godin: Yes, but this is not our
problem. We are comical terrorists and
the pie is symbolic. The victim is only
injured in his self-esteem. We take a lot
of care that the pies can't hurt
psysically. The pastry is soft and full of
cream.=20
NN Do you cook the pies?=20
Godin: No, we are very lazy. We buy
the pies in a shop nearby the place of
the crime. This time, the pies where
coming from a little shop called Au
Petit Pain Frais, chauss=E9e de Haecht.=20
NN Will Bill Gates pursue your
commandos?=20
Godin: No, it would be catastrophic for
him and his reputation.=20
NN If someone gave you money to pie
his enemy, would you accept it?=20
Godin: We have never been pie
mercenaries. But we've had several
offers of a good amount of money. For
instance, I had an offer to pie Catherine
Deneuve in Cannes and also Sharon
Stone. I refused. I love Catherine
Deneuve and the movies of Jacques
Demy; and that year Sharon Stone was
in a western I really liked. So I had
nothing against her. We are pie pirates.
But if we receive money when we pie
someone, we are not puritan leftists.
We received money once: in the case
of [famous French singer and actor]
Patrick Bruel. We offered the money to
the anarchist Parisian magazine
Mordicus. So if someone wants to give
us money we won't misuse it. I could
really enjoy life if I could earn much
money doing this job! It's a big game
and we have fun together. We want to
live fast and to laugh as much as we
can. We want to transform our lives just
like Oscar Wilde wanted to. Everything
is awful around us, so let's try to have
fun.=20
NN: If Bill Gates had to come back in a
few months in Belgium, would pie him
again?=20
Godin: We shall see. But we declare
war on all the governments of the
world, on Tony Blair, on Bill Clinton, on
the pope... When the pope last came
to Belgium, if we'd had a traitor
sponsoring us, we'd have pied him. We
had a strategy. For us, the pope is a
dangerous serial killer because he is
against the preservative [birth control].
On our blacklist, you will also find Demi
Moore; Tom Cruise and John Travolta,
who are both members of the
Scientology; Bill Graham... On the other
hand, we have more and more
sympathizers everywhere. We had
thousands of propositions to help us,
even abroad. We also have many
enemies. But we are like the characters
of a cartoon. We are like Laurel &
Hardy, Bugs Bunny, the Marx Brothers,
the yippies of May 1968. =20