Chronology Current Month Current Thread Current Date
[Year List] [Month List (current year)] [Date Index] [Thread Index] [Thread Prev] [Thread Next] [Date Prev] [Date Next]

Re: Parent-Teacher Conferences...



Dwight,

In the 27 years that I have been teaching, I am always amazed by one or
two parents at the open conference night. The need for dramatics always
presents itself. Your request for help for the parent with the suicidal
daughter is not to be ignored. Often school districts have psychologists
available for referrals. The quality of follow up may vary due to the
dedication of the staff and whether or not the psychologists are there
for educational testing or real counseling services. But the concern of
the parent is not to be taken lightly. If the school district staff is
not any help, look to social services in your town. Many times such
referrals are kept confidential and some help can be provided. Mentioning your
referral to the parent is a judgement call. When I have been in doubt
about the parental response, I have mentioned the services and proposed
that the parent follow through. Some times the guidance is all the
parent needs. The sincerity of the concern usually surfaces when you
insist that one class does not make a student suicidal but rather a
myraid of other problems. For your own peace of mind, you probably need
to look into the services available in the school district and the
community for future reference to give to parents or students that may
casually mention suicide.

In regard to the second parent: WELL! When I have such a bold parent, I
graciously accept the gift, listen to the comments, follow up on the
student's progress in all classes. When I uncover the information you
did, i.e., the same behavior and progress (or of lack of it) in all other
classes, I immediately request a conference with the parent, all teachers
of the student, the counselor, Principal and any other school district
support personnel that is available for student evaluation. It is called
confrontation! I let the teachers know that student work needs to be
presented and any observations made about the student's progress in class
needs to be shown. I also make sure that non-classroom personnel know
the reason for the conference so that they are prepared. And
importantly, The notice to the parent is in writing, the personnel to
be present is given and I invite the parent to bring anyone they would
like to the meeting. (Very seldom does that happen but the oportunity
must be extended. It saves and legal reprocussions.)

Had I been given a book, I would open the conference
by thanking the parent for her concern and that I was sharing her
recommendations with my fellow faculty members....as the success of her
child was our utmost concern. The I would proceed with the presentation
for each teacher about the student work in each class. Very
often there is no "come back" for the parent in that kind of meeting.
With the student present, qustions can be directed toward the student and
quickly any "stories" that the student may have relayed to the parent can
be clarified. Student responsibilty can be addressed and the parent
often walks away enlightened. A plan can be developed to assist the
student in getting work done, true stories about assignments transferred
back to the parent and an understanding of expectations can be clarified.

I have had to have such conferences and often they are positive and all
parties walked away both enlightened and relieved. On one or two occasions,
the parent was so humiliated that the student was withdrawn from the school
and re-enrolled somewhere else. Quickly we all understood that the
student really did not own the problem!

Parent conferences are interesting to me. Very often when I meet the
parent, I know more about the student. And I have on more than one
occasion be able to match parent with student without being told "who
belonged to who!"

Open parent conference night often lends to the opportunity to some
parents to put the teacher on the defensive. Nothing hurts a dedicated
teacher more than to say "you are not doing a good job!" Whether one is
a high school teacher or a college teacher, the sting is the same. Due
to the nature of the high school and college environment, teachers
typically do not talked about individual students because internally the
teacher is already on a guilt trip trying to understand why that student
wasn't successful in class. Pardon the triteness of the expression, "WE
are not alone!" By the time we realize it, we have played such minds
games on ourselves, it is a major work just to get the teacher to
focus on the student.

Another reason for bringing colleagues into the conference is to get a
better picture of the student's work. It is hard to believe that is a 6,
7, or 8 period schedule that a student could have a "bad" teacher for
each class!

Time for my to get off the soap box. Any other opinions?

Beverly "Trina" Cannon
Science and Engineering Magnet High School
Townview Magnet Center
Dallas Texas
tcannon@tenet.edu


On Fri, 6 Dec 1996, Dwight Souder wrote:

Not to long ago, our high school had parent-teacher conferences. As
usual, most of the conferences went very well, except for a couple. One of
them really made me worry. The parent sat down and start sobbing. In the
mother's own words, she was worried whether or not her daughter was going to
do well in my class. She feared that her daughter would take her life if she
didn't do well in my class. No pressure, huh?
The other parent was upset that her daughter was not doing well in my
class. Previous to the conferences, I have talked to some of the other
teachers about this individual student. I had learned that she was failing
ALL of her other classes, as well as mine. She was not turning in her work,
no projects/reports, and was disruptive in all of her other classes. The
mother even gave me a book on how to be a better teacher! I was offended.
Granted, I do believe we all have areas to improve in and I'm constantly
taking classes, trading ideas with other teachers, and going to workshops. To
have a parent tell me that I'm not doing my job really bothered me. Deep
down, I knew that I'm doing whatever I can do at the present time and hoping
that I can improve upon myself later on. I've even had some of my past
students take the state chemistry and physics exam (I'm not sure what the
exact name is) and had most of my students do very well in it. I even had one
student who was one of my "slower" learners place 8th in the Region. I'm not
sure what to think.
Does anyone have advice, especially for the first problem? Anything
anyone is willing to share?

Dwight
Ashland, OH